Why it that Elves prance around the woods in spandex bloomers burning resinous woods and gums, bantering some pseudo mystic mantra mumbo jumbo while groping large trees ? I witnessed such an unseelie sight just the other day. It began with loud elfin horns loathing with scorn for the quiet of the woods. I wanted to hurl a thousand obsidian arrows at them for disturbing a good afternoon of Pilly Wiggin poaching on the Quaeor river. I had poisoned many Pussy Ear flowers and Royal Larkspur which are known favorites of Pilly Wiggins. They have good hearing so you have to be discrete when spiking their flower nectar. In the afternoon they go to drink from flowers so it's important to be quiet and close by, for they have other predators who also enjoy their rubbery tasty flesh. So these Eeeeelves disturb the peace of nature in order hump trees and chant. What is all that about anyways ? Don't these tarts have something better to do. A tree makes good fire wood but how many splinters do ya have to pull out after shagging a couple of em ? Sick creatures you elves are, no abomination aside from humans can top you for such ridiculous behavior !